News

Chicago in a Classic 0

Pitiless Poncho Pummels Piranha Pride... Perfectly! 0

Burgmann Fields, IL – I told you those Tiger bastards would win didn’t I? I almost got the Hoyt kicking the sealer while being tackled by Beau too…. but Hoyt missed and Beau couldn’t get near the great man and to the chagrin of DK, neither could any other Piranhas as Hoyt led the Tigers to a classic victory over the flag favorites of Lincoln Park.

The Tigers are hot and have unleashed several gun players this year, just in time to replace big guns Biggs, Burgmann and DeJong and this game was no different as the tigers welcomed in Tommy Gun, whose first up game was bloody fantastic and along with Crackers Brennan, Grisoni, Billy and Oscar late, were able to put enough pressure on the Piranha prime movers to nullify them and to inturn get enough of the kangaroo skin to keep the flamboyant Hoyt in business.

The Tiger backline was where it was won though. Poncho is in absolute rare form (was Saturday night to… just ask Al. Definitely 3 votes there Poncho old son… he made Dave Worniak look sober as a judge!) and completely took apart MacGlashan and then made Roofy look silly before going back to big Al. He was very ably supported by BOG Nemo playing his last game, meaning DeJong and the Tiger brain trust have another big name to replace.

We all expected the Tiger backs to have an effect but with the very gifted midfield of the Piranhas and their massive aerial power, all assembled were just waiting for them to take control, maybe play with the Tige’s a bit, say a bit of a spit and then a swallow and maybe spit again before really going for the head but it wasn’t to be. The trixies started well enough and nailed the first after a HUGE grab by Brian Monico in front of his adoring sister who did a magnificent job keeping score just quietly……. yet another thing Roofy has taught her to do well apparently! OI! Anyway, back to the footy. Monico kicked his first and sadly for him, it was to be his last kick of the day because the Tigers started to roar (another trick roofy apparently has taught Vanessa…. never mind, back to the footy). Playing his best game thus far, Fish was able to blind step the Dangerous Dave Allen and kick goal of the day to open the Tiger account and this was followed up by a classic crumbers goal by Arnaud Mathieut and then a glimpse of classic Hoyt with a mark out front and goal completely upending the drunken sailor in Dave Worniak whose dad was apparently passed out and snoring by this time on the sidelines. At the first break, Tigers had shot out 3. 1: 19 to lead the Piranha army, 1.0: 6

Perhaps the turning point of the game came in this quarter. The Piranhas hit back harder than Dave Worniak at a bottle of Miller Lite and were able to add two through the dangerous Davey Allen and gun winger Ryan Hayse (I was watching, your missus didn’t see it I’m afraid) whose bomb was a classic and one for the highlight reels. Big Al decided it would be prudent to remove Crackers Brennans head and then when Oscar went down with owie, powie popped the shouldie, two big Tiger guns lay dormant on the ground but to their credit, both rose like the phoenix and Oscar went on to snag the last two of the quarter to set the game alight with scores at 5.3: 33 to LP’s 3.0: 18

Macglashan went nuts at half time and demanded much more from his charges as Poncho wondered how he was going to hang on with big names falling like an Enron audit. He need not fear however, for himself and last gamer Nemo were superb in the premiership quarter and try as they may, there was no breaking the Tiger ‘D’ until Monico got a hotly debated (I know cause I made the call, Poncho wasn’t happy with me, hence the sucking up I’m doing in this report… the guys bigger than me and you know what those Irish lads get like after a few drinks!) goal after soccering the bad boy through. Crackers Brennan showed up to snag a late one for the Tigers as the crowd anxiously awaited the last quarter, with the Tigers maintaining a 6.5: 41 to 4.1: 25 lead that looked shakier than Mustards knees.

The massive crowd of 17 (and Oscie of course but he was away annoying 2 lovely young ladies that were playing frisbee on Montrose beach by this time) held their breath as they waited for the Piranha onslaught which came immediately. The Dangerman in Dave Allen was getting plenty of the ball but his kicking let him down as repeated forays forward were shut down by twin DYNAMO’s Nemo and the great man we all know and love as Poncho and the boy wasn’t letting the occasion go by as he was heard repeatedly telling Big Al how many marks he’d taken over him thus far. The Tigers finally weathered the storm that was the Piranha come back and then went on and put them to the sword. First Oscar kicked a bomb from an out on the full decision and then the guy that loves the limelight the most, shone brighter than his knob in St Louis last year (I saw it boys!) burst through a pack and went BANG over the shoulder to put the game away giving the mercurial Brian Hoyt (Pat’s brother) 2 more for the arvo and entrench himself at the top of the coveted MacGlashan Medal. In the end, the Tigers managed to run away with one of their best victories winning 8. 9: 57 to 6. 2: 38.

For Tigers, It's as Easy as ABC 0

Burgmann Fields, Chicago: The Chicago Tribune said it best, “Another Brennan Classic!”

MacGlashan, one of the greatest footballers to come out of Corio Bay, simply shook his head in amazement as Graham ‘Crackers’ Brennan delivered murderous blow after murderous blow to the underbelly of the Rhinos in a B.O.G performance that belied his inexperience in the great game of Australian Rules Football. MacGlashan, considered by many to be the greatest south paw to ever play the game in the United States was speechless as he watched an inexperienced soccer player take apart the famous powder blue in a game that was hard fought from the outset but the class of the Tigers shone through in the end.

The Rhinos were 1 player short and started the game 3 points down after a great show of force from Lincoln Square, just like the Tigers of old. Despite this, the rhinos were able to jump the Tiges and took the lead early after sustained pressure lead to a great first up goal for little Matty Henzel, the nuggety ex Hooker from Brissy. But as the quarter went on, the Tigers were able to turn the momentum and put the Rhino backs under some huge pressure as big guns Nemo and Poncho started to run wild with Brennan, Oscar and Billy getting kicks at will through the center. Dan ‘Thunder’ Thompson got a very iffy free kick but made the most of it with a nice goal and when Hoyt accepted a lovely handball from Johnno and duly bagged his first, the Tigers had their arses up and the Rhinos looked in trouble.

Brennan continued to dominate and he was able to break clear and kick LS’s only goal of the second quarter with a nice bomb from 40 out on the trot. The Rhinos, as they have repeatedly done, were not to be denied however and they hit back magnificently. Drew Wolfe was finding a lot of the ball, Mike Panek had shut down Thompson, John Scher in his second game was starting to frustrate the fancied Tiger forwards and a ripper of a contest was occurring between the in form Brian Hoyt and the Coach as the Rhinos started to get moving, creating the run out of the backline they have become famous for. Gordon Ambrosino was en freakin’ fuego and without Ash Johnson was flying the flag for the Rhinos in what was his best game thus far and equalled Brennans workrate for the Tigers. The repeated attacks of the Rhinos lead to a nice Bretty Isadore goal and at the half, 3.5: 23 led WV 2.3: 15 and it was anyones game.

The premiership quarter was a hard fought affair with both backlines on top. Hoyt was able to break the shackles and kick a cheeky goal before getting another iffy in the back decision which he went back and slammed home for his second of the quarter. Despite repeated forays forward, Nemo, Poncho and the Tiger backs stood tall and shut out the Rhino forwards to send the Tigers into the final quarter 21 points up but with Ambrosino on fire for the Rhinos, there was still hope.

Hoyt went into the ruck to curb the great game Wolfe was playing and Drake went forward to see if the shackles could be broken down there and after Jezza Morgan finally got in front of Pace and goaled on the run, it was a nervous Tiger sideline as the Rhinos continued to apply pressure. The Tigers finally were able to break the back of the Rhinos however with two great goals by Oscar Meyer who had been magnificently tagged by Matty Henzel but the Tiger runners were to good and despite Rhino efforts, were able to dominate in the last part of the quarter. Uhlmann shone bright, Oscar was terrific but it was Brennan that had United fans cheering for the old glory days of the Swans as he looked like big Al MacGlashan running through the middle and kicking bombs after beating three opponents and having a few bounces. The only difference between these two is that Crackers has a right foot. On the other side of the ball, Gordo continued his fantastic game and gave his all to the Rhino cause but it was the Tiges that eventually ran out winners, condemning Wrigleyville to their worst start in 3 seasons, 7. 8: 50 to 3. 6: 24 (-3pts = 21).

United...When It Rains, It Pours 0

And that’s just what Brian Hoyt said after a massive 7 goal haul against the combination squad of Cinci and Louisville (the Ohio Valley). The day started hot and humid on the lakefront with both teams looking to move forward from their previous games. The combine was coming off a hard fought traveling loss against Nashville while Chicago wanted to continue on from their strong finish against the Blues last weekend.

United came out strong with the first couple of goals. Hoyt with a great grab in the goal square followed by MacGlashan with his trademark “over the shoulder” snap. Brian was able to kick another couple to finish with 3 majors for the term while the combine scored a couple themselves. The backline, lead by Frank Bradley did a great job holding up any forward thrusts and were unlucky to be scored against. Craig “Funky” Miller was getting a few early touches and Neil “Nemo” Morrissey was solid at the last line-these three would battle hard all day. The midfield was looking dangerous with Rohan “Roofy” Ward dominating the ruck with great support from Dave Allen, Ryan Hayes, Billy Ulhmann and Paul “Oscar” Meyer. At the first break, Chicago was up 4-2 to 2 goals straight.

The second quarter found Chicago able to kick another 3 goals but missed out on capitalising on other opportunities and really could have broken the game open before half time. The Dockers/Kings team was able to make the most of their opportunities and managed to put another couple of goals on the board. The second quarter saw the weather make a huge impact on the day when the skies opened up and produced some of the heaviest rain seen in quite a few seasons. This made the ball very slippery (so much so that the umpire wanted to change the ball?) and extremely hard to control. United’s inability to make the most of their chances early in the game really kept the visitors in the match. With the wet conditions, whoever wanted it more would win. At half time Ohio trailed the United boys by 3 goals. Chicago 7-7 to Dockers/Kings 4-1

Whatever stirring words acting coach Dan Kastilahn said at half time must of sunk in pretty well as the third quarter proved to be the game breaker for Chicago. With the field as slick as a “Wazza text message” and the ball harder to pick-up than Betty Palmer (maybe the wrong example?) the United boys rallied hard to kick 3 goals to the opposition’s single goal. In these conditions this would ultimately be the difference. Some great running through the middle and stubborn defence enabled the forward line to disolve any chance of a Ohio comeback. Deri Morgan started to gather possessions as did BJ Gambaro. Oscar was an intergral part of the offensive thrusts coupled with Haysie. The forwards were presenting themselves and Brian Hoyt was the main contributor with another 3 goals to bring his final total for the day to 7. At the last break United had a comanding lead….Chicago 11-6 Cinci/Louisville 5-3.

The final quarter was pretty much all Chicago but again failed to put their dominance on the scoreboard. Drew “da Prez” Ehlers was able to pick up the ball in the trying conditions and score United’s ony goal for the term. The workrate was there but the goals did not come. The effort had again lifted with the likes of Gordo showing some real heart and desperation. The run did not drop from the middle, Roofy, Dave Allen, Anthony “Didak” Sacco, Haysie and Billy providing plenty of drive while again the backline battled hard in the wet conditions to keep the visitors goaless in the final term. The guys rotating off the bench like Biggsy, Panek and Wolfe tried hard when given the opportunity. Betty was doing his job on the the dangerous Matt Seuling, a daunting task for anyone. At the final siren Chicago had beaten the Docker/Kings outfit convincingly with an end result of 11-13 (79) to Ohio 5-6 (36).

It was pretty good effort on Chicago’s behalf especially with Coach Drake missing at a family reunion and Assitant Coach “Midway” Mustard sitting exams. The backline did well as a group and were unlucky a couple of times. The midfield slogged it out in the guts and did well to push back into defence while the forward line was solid with Brian Hoyt the standout for the day. The conditions were not great but United kept going and in the end were able to enjoy a well deserved win.

A special thanks to the people who helped off the field too, Kristen, Pat Hoyt,Jezza, Nick and Lisa…Cheers…Did I forget anyone?

Results

Team	Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4	Final
United	4.2.26	3.5.23	4.0.24	0.6.6	11.13.79
Cincinnati	2.0.12	2.1.13	1.2.8	0.3.3	5.6.36
Goals	United: Hoyt B (7), MacGlashan, Ehlers, Hayes, Allen D Cincinnati: None
Best	United: Hoyt B, Allen D, Bradley, Uhlmann, Ward Cincinnati: None

Chicago Run Over St. Louis 0

On a wonderful Chicago day with the mercury in the mid 70’s, the Windy City lived up to it’s name with a cross ground breeze that made scoring difficult and concise ball movement tough. A very good looking crowd of 50 had turned up to see United in their home opener against their old foe, the blue boys of St Louis who had come to the shores of Lake Michigan many a time only to return to the Mississippi with the 4 points. Chicago went into the game favorites despite St Louis’s massive win over the Minessotta Freeze and the butt kicking Nashville had given the United lads in Tennessee and it was an angry Chicago team that took the field, looking for redemption for that loss.

From the outset Chicago looked the better team as they peppered the forward line but to no avail as the strong St Louis defence repeatedly kept them out. Brian Hoyt was busy at full forward but a combination of St Louis’s midfield pressure and the wind had the Chicago midfield spraying their kicks. It was left to winger Ryan Hayes to get the United boys going with a great goal on the run. This seemed to wake St Louis up and their midfielders, through Sarbacker and especially Brown started to get a lot more of the Sherrin but the Chicago backline led by first gamer (for United anyway) BJ Gambaro was too strong. Funky Miller was full of run and didn’t show any signs of the hammy that went kablammy a month ago and kept him out of the Nashville game and he was well supported by a determined Poncho Bradley who took several telling grabs to have the better of D 1 at the important CHB position. St Louis were finally rewarded for their constant pressure as Jaime Wilson ran on to a loose ball and kicked a lovely goal from 30 out on the run.

Chicago took Panek off and brought on big, bad Drew Ehlers to see if the prez could get something going up front and the move was instantly rewarded as he took a great mark in traffic and as if to stick it up his more fancied Australian forwards that couldn’t hit the side of a barn, went back and slotted through Chicago’s second to send them into quarter time a goal up, 2.2: 14 v 1.2: 8

The second quarter was similar to the first with both teams having trouble making inroads on the scoreboard as both defences took control of the game. Coultas was all over Hoyt and MacGlashan was being well held by Jagger and at the other end Drake, Bradley, BJ, Fresh and Miller were to big for the smaller Blue forwards and were able to shut out the Blues for the whole quarter. From the backline, Chicago went to the top side with Burgmann on the wing to see whether they could snag that ellusive goal and they found it through Jezza Morgan who, with the impending nuptials mere days away, is in some of his best form since returning from his stint with Labrador in Australia. Brian Hoyt, after having a mark disallowed on the goal line by a smiling Justin Biggs (who did a fantastic job it must be said), finally got a step on Coultas and goaled to send Chicago’s female hearts racing and send the lads into the long break a disappointing 4.10: 34 to St louis 1.2: 8.

Sarbacker had to roll the dice to get a win and he did just that. The Chicago midfield, led by Dave ‘Dangerous’ Allen and first gamer Graham ‘Crackers’ Brennan was starting to look dangerous but Brown had had plenty of the ball and St Louis had not been rewarded with goals for the excellent work in the middle so Sars put himself to center half forward and moved D1 into the middle and went to work. His first goal came a minute into the third quarter as his pace and skill shone through. His second came after a huge grab on the goal line and put the lads from Missouri a mere two kicks down. The Blues continued to attack as their forward line got a new lease of life. One bad miss that could have been telling was converted into a Chicago forward thrust where big Al, very well held by Jagger until now was able to pick up a loose ball on the boundary and snap goal of the day to settle the activity that was happening on the Chicago bench. Betty Palmer was bought into the backline to supply the pace that was needed to stop Sarbacker and slowly but surely Chicago started to wrestle control of the game away from a tiring St Louis but extremely poor kicking for goal frustrated the home team as they went into the orange break 5.11: 41 to St Lou 3.5: 23.

Chicago coach, ‘Hector’ Drake took a leaf from Sarbacker and pulled himself out of full back and went to full forward to see if a backman could start kicking goals and the move worked instantly as he was able to haul in a lovely pass from ‘Oscar’ Meyer and kickstart the goal spree that was Chicago’s last quarter. The very next play Drake collected a loose ball and hit a full running Billy Uhlmann who slotted through his first and all of a sudden it was all Chicago. B.O.G Ryan Hayes got amongst it with a beautiful goal on the run from 50 out and when Burgmann popped one over a stranded Jaggers head for his coach to kick his second, it was all over for the Blues who continued to battle hard against the momentum which had completely swung Chicago’s way. Hayes added another and Drake pulled down a big grab in the square to kick his third for the quarter to send United further in front. Uhlmann, fed by a lovely handball in traffic by Dougie Fresh kicked his second and Oscar Meyer booted two lovely goals from 40 out to seal victory with a 9 goal last quarter that went aways to vanquish the ghosts that had haunted Chicago since their big loss in Nashville and had kept tongues wagging throughout the MAAFL.

St Louis were gallant in defeat. The undersized forward line was well held by the Chicago backs but the Blue midfielders led by Brown and Sarbacker were extremely busy and worked tirelessly all day. The backline, with big games by Coultas, Jagger and Schomaker were able to keep the highly fancied Chicago forwards at bay for three quarters until the pressure became overwhelming in the last quarter. They head back to Bud town disappointed but bouyed by their first 3 quarters against reigning MAAFL premier Chicago. Their next game will be an absolute classic at home against a supremely confident Nashville team on June 7 and the match up of Sarbacker on Vstecka will be worth the price of admission alone.

For Chicago, it was a dominant performance that was not reflected on the scoreboard until the last quarter and they will feel that they could have put this game away by half time. They allowed St Louis to fight their way back into it in the 3rd but Drake and his coaching staff will be happy with the way they absorbed the pressure after half time and were able to kick away with a marvellous last term. The form and health of Burgmann is a worry but big games out of Hayes and Meyer on the wings was terrific. First gamers Crackers Brennan and BJ Gambaro were outstanding and the backline of Chicago was impenetrable for much of the game with great games out of Poncho Bradley and Funky Miller. Dougie Fresh showed the selectors that he is a legitimate backman with a suffocating game in the pocket.

With Cincinnatti/ Louisville visiting next week, Chicago have plenty to think about. The forward line has fired in only 1 of it’s last 8 quarters of football but the efforts of Hoyt, Uhlmann and Ehlers were heartening. Jeremy Morgan has carved himself a niche up front after years spent taking on the oppositions best backmen but we’ve seen what marriage can do to a man (Drake, MacGlashan, Ward, Miller, Gambaro, Hayes, DeJong etc etc). The form of Roofy in the ruck was very pleasing though as he was one of Chicagos best with a dominant performance on Revo ruckman Dan Sergott.

BURGMANN MEDAL VOTES:
3- R. Ward 3- R. Hayes
2- BJ Gambaro 2- BJ Gambaro
1- R. Hayse 1- F. Bradley

Piranhas Power to Two in a Row 0

Burgmann Fields, Chicago, IL – In a season of first of’s, the Lincoln Park Piranhas have won two on the trot after outlasting a very gallant Wrigleyville Friday night at Burgmann Fields.

In what was another great turn out by both teams (no team docked points), this game had it all and was a terrific example of Australian Football. The Piranhas went into the game red hot favorites despite the losses of Coach Kastilahn and guru, Al MacGlashan. The Rhinos were without Henzel (groin) and played a very injured Funky Miller against doctors orders. The Rhinos drafted in gun tiger midfielder Brennan and welcomed in first gamers Lance and the nuggety John Scher. The Piranhas borrowed Nemo and if more evidence was needed to prove that everything is going the way of the Trixies this year, they also unleashed gun ruckman Brian Dodds from god only knows where. LP welcomed back el presidente Drewbie (also from god only knows where) and Betty Palmer finally showed up as well to let us all know he was still alive.

The game started tough and went that way the whole game. As mentioned in the keys to the game, the Rhinos had to shut down the big Australian contingent of the Piranhas and all was going well for the boys from Cubsville as their midfield with Gordo, AJ and Wolfe were having the better of Allen, Rogers, Dobbs and Palmer. Ambrosino especially was giving the goldies plenty to think about and after some very smart moves, was able to bang home the first for the game. Not long after, and on 1 leg, funky miller out bustled his man to take a nice grab and even more interestingly, actually kick truly while being propped up by two branches from a nearby tree. The Rhinos, always a strong, committed team were looking dangerous and repeated forays forward by LP were to no avail as they kicked poorly due to the enormous pressure being brought to bear on them as the Rhino defense stood very strong against the big man Roofy, the fiesty Didak, el presidente and Isadore. A shitty bounce cost them though as Ehlers was able to kick a goal laughing as Drake was bamboozled by a Shane Warne like wrong un’. At the first break, it was all squared up, WV 2.0: 12 v LP 1.6: 12

Roofy was able to open proceedings in the second after a cheap handball over the top allowed him to run into an open goal and put LP in front but from then on, the Rhinos took control as they dominated through the middle and down back. Morgan at center half forward was very active and the move of Spider onto Roofy enable Drake to start legging it out of the backline and with McClamroch and Johnson getting plenty of run, things were looking good for the Rhinos. Scher was on top of Didak, Lance and poor vision by the Piranha backs were keeping Hayse out of the game and Brennan and Ambrosino were keeping ‘dangerous’ Dave Allen cold. Morgan was able to mark and goal for his first and Ambrosino capped off some Rhino magic to snag his second and send the Rhinos into the half 5 points up after a dubious shot on goal after the siren by Dobbs was called a point. WV 4.0: 24 v LP 2.7: 19

The feeling was good in the Rhino camp as they came out looking to press home their advantage over the highly paid LP team. LP swung the moves trying various people up forward to break the blockade but it was a sneaky little kick by Beau Rogers that got the Piranhas going and evened the scores. The Piranhas were starting to move the ball better as Dave Allen and Dobbs started to wear down the Rhino on ballers in Brennan, Wolfe and Johnson who after bad injuries to Hoyt P (shot by a sniper behind the grassy knoll… classic stuff if you happened to see it) and Ambrosino (whole body), were unable to change. The game got willing as heavy clashes were the order of the day as players threw themselves at the ball in every contest with the Piranha pride being shown by a ripper of a hit from Bretty Isadore on Drake that saw the latter flying higher than his wife in college. Neither team could break through though as the wind and staunch defences ruled the day. The Rhinos finally broke through and after some magnificent play from Morgan and McClamroch, hit the left tit of Funky 10 meters out but in a Golden Globe classic moment, old Funky decided to play on and the ensuing kick from 5 yards out dead in front missed by 20 yards and the Rhinos were left to rue the fact that OBK’s head didn’t get in the way of that errant shot. At the orange break, LP led 3. 9: 27 to WV 4.1: 25.

The last quarter was going to be a pearla and it didn’t let the large crowd of 12 down. Didak put the first nail in the Rhino coffin as he finally broke the John Scher/ Mike Panek shackles and goaled to put the Piranhas 8 points up and the Piranhas were sniffing a victory. They continued to pepper the goals but it was Morgan at the other end who put the points on the board after running onto a loose ball and kicking a great, Burgmannesque (CAFA bylaws state Waz must be mentioned in each write up) goal 40 meters out on the run which bought the Rhino faithful to its feet.

Players continued to give their all as the Rhino backline, under enormous pressure tried in vain to keep the Piranhas out. The Piranhas helped out with some more poor kicking for goal with both Roofy and Didak missing chances and finally it was up to B.O.G ‘Dangerous’ Davey Allen (whose mum flies in this week, if anyone’s interested in meeting Mrs Allen?) to slot through the game winner and break the Rhinos back. The Rhinos continued to fight though and when Scher ran full steam like one of his Pontiac Grand Am’s through the middle and kicked long, Morgan swept again and almost kicked goal of the year but alas, the post was in the way. Again though the Rhinos attacked, this time through Lance the dance whose handball to Drake saw the ball head in Gordos direction but the sniper popped up again and a second Rhino was left wounded on the ground as K.O.G.S signalled the end of one of the best Metro games played in the 3 years of this competition. Skills were excellent, running was spectacular and even the fitness looked pretty good as the two teams embraced after the game. To the victor the spoils as the Piranhas walked triumphantly unbeaten from the ground. Allen, suffering from a nice smack to the gob in the dying minutes was presented with the bottomless mug and had this to say after the game. “MacGlashan? Tall guy right, complains a lot? Nah, we didn’t miss him…. Oh that’s Burgmann, sorry, Al’s the guy that was in Playboy and Chicago magazines right? , Nah, didn’t miss him at all. Was a great game from all concerned and kudos to the Rhinos who were bloody terrific and had a red hot shot at us. I reckon we proved a point to all tonight, the Piranhas are fair dinkum”.