Posted by Thomas Shearman

Burgmann Fields, Chicago, IL – In a season of first of’s, the Lincoln Park Piranhas have won two on the trot after outlasting a very gallant Wrigleyville Friday night at Burgmann Fields.

In what was another great turn out by both teams (no team docked points), this game had it all and was a terrific example of Australian Football. The Piranhas went into the game red hot favorites despite the losses of Coach Kastilahn and guru, Al MacGlashan. The Rhinos were without Henzel (groin) and played a very injured Funky Miller against doctors orders. The Rhinos drafted in gun tiger midfielder Brennan and welcomed in first gamers Lance and the nuggety John Scher. The Piranhas borrowed Nemo and if more evidence was needed to prove that everything is going the way of the Trixies this year, they also unleashed gun ruckman Brian Dodds from god only knows where. LP welcomed back el presidente Drewbie (also from god only knows where) and Betty Palmer finally showed up as well to let us all know he was still alive.

The game started tough and went that way the whole game. As mentioned in the keys to the game, the Rhinos had to shut down the big Australian contingent of the Piranhas and all was going well for the boys from Cubsville as their midfield with Gordo, AJ and Wolfe were having the better of Allen, Rogers, Dobbs and Palmer. Ambrosino especially was giving the goldies plenty to think about and after some very smart moves, was able to bang home the first for the game. Not long after, and on 1 leg, funky miller out bustled his man to take a nice grab and even more interestingly, actually kick truly while being propped up by two branches from a nearby tree. The Rhinos, always a strong, committed team were looking dangerous and repeated forays forward by LP were to no avail as they kicked poorly due to the enormous pressure being brought to bear on them as the Rhino defense stood very strong against the big man Roofy, the fiesty Didak, el presidente and Isadore. A shitty bounce cost them though as Ehlers was able to kick a goal laughing as Drake was bamboozled by a Shane Warne like wrong un’. At the first break, it was all squared up, WV 2.0: 12 v LP 1.6: 12

Roofy was able to open proceedings in the second after a cheap handball over the top allowed him to run into an open goal and put LP in front but from then on, the Rhinos took control as they dominated through the middle and down back. Morgan at center half forward was very active and the move of Spider onto Roofy enable Drake to start legging it out of the backline and with McClamroch and Johnson getting plenty of run, things were looking good for the Rhinos. Scher was on top of Didak, Lance and poor vision by the Piranha backs were keeping Hayse out of the game and Brennan and Ambrosino were keeping ‘dangerous’ Dave Allen cold. Morgan was able to mark and goal for his first and Ambrosino capped off some Rhino magic to snag his second and send the Rhinos into the half 5 points up after a dubious shot on goal after the siren by Dobbs was called a point. WV 4.0: 24 v LP 2.7: 19

The feeling was good in the Rhino camp as they came out looking to press home their advantage over the highly paid LP team. LP swung the moves trying various people up forward to break the blockade but it was a sneaky little kick by Beau Rogers that got the Piranhas going and evened the scores. The Piranhas were starting to move the ball better as Dave Allen and Dobbs started to wear down the Rhino on ballers in Brennan, Wolfe and Johnson who after bad injuries to Hoyt P (shot by a sniper behind the grassy knoll… classic stuff if you happened to see it) and Ambrosino (whole body), were unable to change. The game got willing as heavy clashes were the order of the day as players threw themselves at the ball in every contest with the Piranha pride being shown by a ripper of a hit from Bretty Isadore on Drake that saw the latter flying higher than his wife in college. Neither team could break through though as the wind and staunch defences ruled the day. The Rhinos finally broke through and after some magnificent play from Morgan and McClamroch, hit the left tit of Funky 10 meters out but in a Golden Globe classic moment, old Funky decided to play on and the ensuing kick from 5 yards out dead in front missed by 20 yards and the Rhinos were left to rue the fact that OBK’s head didn’t get in the way of that errant shot. At the orange break, LP led 3. 9: 27 to WV 4.1: 25.

The last quarter was going to be a pearla and it didn’t let the large crowd of 12 down. Didak put the first nail in the Rhino coffin as he finally broke the John Scher/ Mike Panek shackles and goaled to put the Piranhas 8 points up and the Piranhas were sniffing a victory. They continued to pepper the goals but it was Morgan at the other end who put the points on the board after running onto a loose ball and kicking a great, Burgmannesque (CAFA bylaws state Waz must be mentioned in each write up) goal 40 meters out on the run which bought the Rhino faithful to its feet.

Players continued to give their all as the Rhino backline, under enormous pressure tried in vain to keep the Piranhas out. The Piranhas helped out with some more poor kicking for goal with both Roofy and Didak missing chances and finally it was up to B.O.G ‘Dangerous’ Davey Allen (whose mum flies in this week, if anyone’s interested in meeting Mrs Allen?) to slot through the game winner and break the Rhinos back. The Rhinos continued to fight though and when Scher ran full steam like one of his Pontiac Grand Am’s through the middle and kicked long, Morgan swept again and almost kicked goal of the year but alas, the post was in the way. Again though the Rhinos attacked, this time through Lance the dance whose handball to Drake saw the ball head in Gordos direction but the sniper popped up again and a second Rhino was left wounded on the ground as K.O.G.S signalled the end of one of the best Metro games played in the 3 years of this competition. Skills were excellent, running was spectacular and even the fitness looked pretty good as the two teams embraced after the game. To the victor the spoils as the Piranhas walked triumphantly unbeaten from the ground. Allen, suffering from a nice smack to the gob in the dying minutes was presented with the bottomless mug and had this to say after the game. “MacGlashan? Tall guy right, complains a lot? Nah, we didn’t miss him…. Oh that’s Burgmann, sorry, Al’s the guy that was in Playboy and Chicago magazines right? , Nah, didn’t miss him at all. Was a great game from all concerned and kudos to the Rhinos who were bloody terrific and had a red hot shot at us. I reckon we proved a point to all tonight, the Piranhas are fair dinkum”.

Results

Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
Piranhas 1.6.12 1.1.7 1.2.8 2.5.17 5.14.44
Rhinos 2.0.12 2.0.12 0.1.1 1.1.7 5.2.32
Goals Piranhas: Ehlers, Ward, Sacco, Beau, Allen D
Rhinos: Morgan J (2), Ambrosino (2), Miller
Best Piranhas: Allen D, Isadore, Palmer, Dobbs B
Rhinos: Morgan J, Ambrosino, Scher, Panek

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