• Rhinos Gore Their Way to Victory With Strong Finish

    Posted by Thomas Shearman

    The rhinos and pirhanas after Metro Game 1, 2016

    Just 15 minutes before the scheduled bounce down of the first metro match of the 2016 Chicago season thigs were not looking too promising. Only a handful of players had roughed the 38 degree rainstorm and made it to Waveland Field. Although that might have been because umpire Brian Hoyt linked to the wrong field on the Facebook post about the game which led to him winning the first Golden Goose of the year. An award he fully accepted and wore all night even while he played guitar at Irish Eyes later that evening. But just as all hope was almost lost the Rhinos and Piranhas showed up in full force and before you could say "Outback Kid retirement tour" the game was underway.

    From the beginning it was an epic clash in the middle as Graeme Radford battled Jason "Pony Boy" Wilhelm in the ruck. Off the initial tap Pedro Jimenez scooped up the ball and went bang through the big sticks for an early 6 points. After that the Piranhas settled in and were getting solid clearances out of the middle from Jayson Schmelzer and first Chicago gamer Shae Tulley. Those clearances led to some early marks and goals by the Piranha front line being led by Coach Woody and Brad Clifton who slotted an early goal. An early highlight was a goal attempt that rocketed off the foot of Rhino forward Trent Smith and landed square in the guts of Swans VP Stu Nicol. The sound of the ball slamming into Nicol's ribs could be heard from clear across the field...as well as the resulting laughter as Stuey crumpled in pain. At the end of the first quarter the Piranhas held an 8 point lead.

    The rain continued to drop as the second quarter started. But an electric energy overtook the field as Franklin "The Outback Kid" Plummer donned the Rhino jumper and entered the game. Along with Plummer there was a look of shock on everyones face as Ryan "Hayzie" Hayes and Graham "Crackers" Brennan entered the game as well. It had been a few seasons since these two legends had been on the pitch together at the same time. 

    The presence of these three Chicago footy legends seemed to energize both clubs and the action was moving back and forth with both teams making the most of their efforts. Tyler "Minutes" Dorsett slotted two goals while Jeff Kraemer and Stu Nicol each got their second goals of the day. Schmelzer rewarded his hard work with a goal of his own and Joe Sweirupski who an anonymous source said "looked 10 years younger out there" slotted his first of two goals on the day. But the real action was by the back lines of both teams. The Rhinos backline was buoyed by first gamer and future prospect Ben as well as the always hard charging and hard hitting Tom Shearman. The Piranhas backline was holding their own as well with strong performances by Greg Miller who was getting a ton of the ball and Cliff Holmes who seemed to be everywhere. At halftime the Piranhas were up 6.3.39 to 5.5.35.

    The rained continued to make things difficult for both teams as the premiership quarter got underway. After a stop off at Home Depot the one man who wasn't having any trouble was Paul "Garden Gloves" Enzinger. With his trademark gardening gloves Enzinger was able to take a few strong marks as well as reward himself with a goal in the 3rd. Sweirupski kicked another for the Piranhas while Kraemer was getting hot and collected his third goal for his eventual bag of five on the day. The slippery conditions were turning the game into a real street fight with skills going out the window as each team looked to slug it out with each other. At the end of three the Rhinos held a slight 3 point lead at 7.7.49 to 7.4.46.

    With the 4th quarter underway this game was tighter than a camels arse in a sandstorm. From the initial bounce down though Radford started to get the best of Wilhelm and the forward clearances were being gobbled up by Smith who was getting a ton of the ball and put through 2 goals to get the Rhinos going. Kramer then followed up with a beautiful goal off the left from about 30 out all while the relentless run of Alistair Martin was starting to become too much for the exhausted Piranhas. As the quarter rolled on the Rhinos simply ran over the top of the Piranhas and kept pouring it on like a heavy handed bartender. The Piranhas got one last goal from Wilhelm but it was way too little and way too late. As the final siren went off the Rhinos celebrated a 11.12.78 to 8.4.52 victory. 

    Rhinos:   2.4 5.5 7.7 11.12(78)

    Piranhas: 3.2 6.3 7.4 8.4 (52)

    Goals

    Rhinos: Kraemer(5), Dorsett(2), Smith(2), Jimenez, Enginer

    Piranhas: Nicol(2), Wilhelm(2), Sweirupski(2), Schmelzer, Clifton

    Best

    Rhinos: Kreamer, Radford, Shearman, Jimenez, Smith

    Piranhas: Miller, Schmelzer, Tulley, Nicol, Wilhelm

  • 2014 Metro Round 1

    Posted by Thomas Shearman

    Welcome back to Chicago footy everyone. Round 1 of the 2014 season was a rematch of the 2013 metro grand final, Lincoln Square Tigers Vs the Lincoln Park Piranhas. The match started a little after 6 as the weather was delaying some of the local baseball games, but at soon as the boots were tied and the legs were stretched, the whistle blew and the game was underway. From the first ball up it was apparent that Jason “Ponyboy” Wilhelm was going to win the taps all day, but with “cannonball” Kiefy roving for the Tigers he was quick to play off the taps and keep the ball in the Tiger side of the Field. Conway kept Pony occupied all day keeping a body on him at all times and really shutting him down. The first half was all Tigers as there more veteran side was apparent over the younger and more inexperienced Piranha side. The Piranhas were lucky to hold the Tigers to only 5 goals in the first quarter, but the second half was the comeback we were all waiting to see. Tiger goal kickers first quarter were Beckham…err I mean Sainty…X2, Al “I’m still young enough to kick ass” Macglashin X2, and Eric “Cutter” Conway.

    The second quarter was more in the Piranhas side of the field and the goals starting coming back their way. New players Patrick, Tom, Mack, Joris and Kevin all started to get a feel for the game, and soon enough Dougy “Fresher than Fresh” Malcolm slotted 2 goals and Alex “roids” Wallach snapped a ripper from 30 out. “Drakey” made a veteran appearance for the Tigers and showed he still has years of footy in him, and while he made the honorable call to let the younger players play while he ran the boundary. For the Tigers, Nolan “what’s with the hat” Schmelzer grabbed a pair of goals and looked smooth out there with his spin moves and jukes. Best on Ground Player of the match Sam “I swear I’m not 19″ Svoboda played incredibly well looking super sharp for still being a newer player. Mark after mark and spot on kicks got this kid the Blue Jacket at Brownstone. At the half, the scores were a little more even at 7.2 (44) to 3.3 (21)

    Coming into the premiership quarter the Piranhas were stopped again and again by one very big man: Russ “the bus” Adams. With more years playing that probably the entire Piranahs team combined, it was hard to not only get the ball into the forward fifty but get it in the hands of those who could put it through the big sticks. Al “silky smooth” Martain was instrumental in keeping the ball moving forward for the Tigers. Coming out the wood works Graham “Crackers” got his name on the sheet with a major score, along with Oscar “mile high” Meyer. Pony receiving a handball from Doug off the wing kept the Piranhas alive with the only goal for the quarter for the blue and reds. Lots of hard work was to be had by Tyler “Minutes” in the pocket keeping Paul “Garden Gloves” scoreless on the day. Russ kept Rhino gun Dave “Wild Child” Deutz goalless for his cameo appearance. Sars was another key player on the Pirhanas who made the 3 hour drive in and drive home that night (huge effort) to keep the flow moving to the Pirhanas offensive sign, but the Tigers were just too strong. Hoyt played too.

    The Fourth quarter was nothing short of a fizzle out. Lungs were short of breath while Big Al and Crackers bagged another goal each. In the End the Tigers were just too strong and will absolutely be a force to be reckoned with. Next week the Pirhanas get a chance to get their name back when they face the Wrigleyville Rhinos.

    As always, huge thanks to all the WAGs/friends/family and kids who came out to support the footy and have a drink while watching men beat the crap out of each other. Always good having the support and the cheers/jeers when we kick goals or shank them miserable. Huge thanks for Anthony Hendrie to umpire the game. See you all next week!

    Results

    Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
    Piranhas 0.2.2 3.1.19 1.3.9 0.0.0 4.6.30
    Tigers 5.1.31 2.1.13 2.2.14 2.3.15 11.7.73
    Goals Piranhas: Malcolm (2), Wilhelm, Wallach
    Tigers: MacGlashan (3), Brennan (2), St John (2), Schmelzer N (2), Conway, Meyer
    Best Piranhas: Shinsako
    Tigers: Jimenez, Svoboda

    Best on Ground: Sam Svoboda
    Oxford Landing: Pedro and Kevin Shinsako
    Golden Goose: Kiefy

  • 2013 Metro Grand Final

    Posted by Thomas Shearman

    Results

    Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
    Tigers 2.2.14 3.1.19 3.2.20 3.2.20 11.7.73
    Rhinos 4.3.27 1.6.12 4.4.28 7.1.43 16.14.110
    Goals Tigers: Wallach (5), Adams (2), Schmelzer N (2), Meyer, MacGlashan
    Rhinos: Wilhelm (5), Malcolm (3), Edwards (3), Campion (2), Bennett (2), Saarbacker
    Best Tigers: None
    Rhinos: None
  • 2013 Metro Rd 8

    Posted by Thomas Shearman

    Results

    Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
    Piranhas 2.3.15 4.6.30 1.5.11 2.3.15 9.17.71
    Rhinos 4.2.26 2.1.13 3.2.20 2.2.14 11.7.73
    Goals Piranhas: Wilhelm (2), Yunes, St John, Q, Malcolm, Bennett
    Rhinos: Porter (4), McKeegan (3), Martin, El Zoghbi, Hoyt B, Wallach
    Best Piranhas: Wilhelm, Malcolm
    Rhinos: Porter, McKeegan, Martin, Deutz
    Injuries Piranhas: None
    Rhinos: None

    BOG (Blue Jacket): Jason Wilhelm
    Oxford Landing Wine: Alistaire/Mckeegan
    Golden Goose: Wade Porter

  • 2013 Metro Rd 7

    Posted by Thomas Shearman

    Welcome back, Footy Fans, for yet another addition of Friday Night Footy at the Wavo. The storms that rolled through in the afternoon left the pitch a bit soggy, but that didn’t frighten the Lincoln Park Piranhas and Lincoln Square Tigers from lining up against one another in a fight for the top of the ladder. 1556 spectators looked on as the teams took their positions and got ready for the opening bounce.

    The Piranhas got the scoring under way with Wade “Gun” Porter who slotted one through almost immediately, but also pulled his hammy as he kicked, leaving the Piranhas with one less on the bench for the entire game. After Porter went down, the Piranhas seemed out of sorts. Though there was solid opposition from Dan “Ginger” Khastilan the Tigers were relentless, and pumped the pill into the forward line. Al “Snaps” MacGlashan was on fire, with two goals. Little Nolan Schmelzer was up and about as well with one goal. A bright spot for the Piranhas was Doug “Boots” Malcolm who continues to have a strong season across half forward. Frank “Ponch” Bradley was his usual active self in the backline for Lincoln Park. His great work at ground level continues to defy logic for a tall backman. By the end of the first quarter, the Tigers were up 4.4.28 to the Piranhas 1.0.6

    In the second quarter, Tiger Pedro “Corrigan” Jimenez had a beautiful center clearance… for the oppostion. A chorus of “GOOSE” followed. Ryan “Skullet” Daudelin was a force to be reckoned with in the forward line. He roved a beautiful tap by Jason “Ink” Wilhelm and put a goal on the board, and 2 for the quarter. Fellow Fish, Tim “Munster” Hermann was once again active in the middle of the ground, and had another great game kicking one goal on the evening. The Tigers answered through Alex “Wazza” Wallach who continued his good form, kicking one goal for the quarter. Brian “Package” Hoyt had another good game in defense for Lincoln Park, while Matt “Not Quite Webster” Webb seemed to have a nose for the footy. Tyler “Goose” Dorsett was his usual self, making great leads and putting on strong shepherds, some against the opposition and one in particular against an unexpecting teammate. At one point, the players realized that umpire Anthony “Razor” Hendrie had forgotten to check his watch for at least fifteen minutes resulting in the longest quarter in AFL history. At the end of it, the Tigers led the Piranhas 8.5.53 to 3.3.21.

    After the long break, the players from both teams decided to pump up the volume. It was a battle of defenses as there was little scoring. Jason “Pippy” Schmelzer, Andrew “Sainty” St James, and Dan “Tiger Balm” Sarbacker really started to connect beautifully in the Piranha’s midfield. Russ “Rusty” Adams wasn’t his usual dominant self, but still provided plenty of ball to his teammates. Coming out of defense, Joe “Chuck Norris” Swierupski decided it was a great idea to clear the ball but instead kicked Piranha forward Joel “Nugget” Bennett’s shin causing him to leave the game. Quinton “Barbie-Q” McMillen consistenly found space on the wing. The goals didn’t see much action, but Umpire Biggsy felt the brunt of everyone’s aggression. Particularly Tiger Eric “Not So EZ” Zukowski who kicked straight from a set shot late in the quarter. Xavier “Big” Burton continued his excellent form collecting 32 posessions and most of those were contested. At the end of the third quarter it was the Tigers still leading the Piranhas: 8.6.54 to 4.6.30.

    In the fourth quarter, the Piranhas really needed to come up with some magic while the Tigers simply needed to keep the Fish underwater. Tiger backman, Mike “Disco” Panek found himself lost in the forward line while Tiger Forward Paul “Gloves” Enzinger found himself lost in the back line. No one quite understood what happened, but it worked out for the better. Oscar “I finally got a vote” Meyer kicked a beautiful banana from the boundary for a goal. Keith “Charger” Campion was a monster at ground level, constantly winning the contested ball along with Mark Appel “IIe” who continues to impress in his first season. Andrew “No, I don’t look like Brian Lake” Woodman is starting to find his feet as the season progresses. All in all, it was a hotly contested game, but in the end it was the Tigers who ran away the victors. At the final siren it was Lincoln Square 9.7.61 to Lincoln Park 5.8.38.

    Results

    Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final
    Tigers 4.4.28 4.1.25 0.1.1 1.1.7 9.7.61
    Piranhas 1.0.6 2.3.15 1.3.9 1.2.8 5.8.38
    Goals Tigers: Meyer (3), MacGlashan (3), Zukowski, Schmelzer N, Wallach
    Piranhas: Daudelin (3), Hermann, Porter
    Best Tigers: Meyer, MacGlashan, Burton, Jimenez
    Piranhas: Daudelin, Hermann, Malcolm, Wilhelm
    Injuries Tigers: Meyer (Ankle)
    Piranhas: Porter (Hammy), Bennett (Ankle)
    Umpire Biggs

    Blue Jacket (BOG): Ryan Daudelin
    Oxford Landing Wine: Xavier Burton / Jason Wilhelm
    Golden Goose: Tyler Dorsett

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