CHICAGO, IL- The headlines in both the Sun Times and the Trib said it all after the big Milwaukee beat down by United “Hayes… O-U-T… O-M-G”. The little champion sustained a broken finger and will (hopefully) miss this massive game against the cellar dwelling Rhinoceros’. He is the biggest name from a long list of players out injured or sucking up to their girlfriends and driving 6 hours to spend some time with her parents in Columbus (no names mentioned here as we have to keep it a secret from Rocky in case he decides to tag along and claim his old pal back). While the Piranhas will be missing Hayse, the Rhinos go in without Forte and Eli Rosen (both forever, tempted by the naked Germans that hang out in all those lovely parks in Berlin), John Scher who has lost his backbone, Tobias Allen (apparently Braz did catch him!!!) and finally Jeremy Morgan but who really cares? The Rhinos have the Kid and he hasn’t been seen for awhile. Rumors abound of a former 400 pounder pounding the southside pavements and it is not Bobby Jenks. Apparently the kid has dropped a lazy 50 lbs and is again beating Oscar in sprints and he will lead a hungry Rhino outfit into battle against the highly fancied Piranhas.
MacGlashan is coming off his best game in nigh on 3 years with his best on ground performance for the Old Guns in the old boys clash over the weekend. Ehlers looked good, if horribly, horribly slow and Betty Palmer will be looking to bust a few heads. Roofy hopefully, wont play but you never know with him do ya? MacGlashan and Hayse have offered a limousine and baby sitter on top of his already hefty salary but this still might not be ebough to tempt him into playing on a rock hard ground in 90 degree temps.
This game has all the hallmarks of an upset. The Piranhas have the experience, the height, the Paddys and one Nolan McKeegan but without Hayse, they could be the proverbial ship without a rudder. The Rhinos have…., well, given more time I am sure to think of something… got it… the better looking outfits! The Rhinos have a surprise, an ace up the sleeve, a dum- de- dum… a ringer! Not gonna say much more apart from the lad is from Maryknoll, a beautiful town of 23 people, 300, 000 sheep and 500, 000 cows and triple that in Kangaroos. A statue of our lady greets weary visitors who curse the dirt road that takes you up to Maryknoll so you know it is a lovely spot….. forgot to mention the 9999999999999999, 99999999999, 99999999999913 bloody Mozzies that inhabit the area too. Anyway, I have a ringer… or do I? Is this mrely a ruse to get MacGlashan worried? Unless its Chris Judd or Matty Richardson himself, how can one man even help the Rhinos. Lets see……… Gore Gore Gore!
Piranhas by 10 goals
WHERE: Waveland Park, Waveland and LSD
WHEN: Fri, July 16th at 6pm
WHO: LP Piranhas v WV Rhinos
WHAT ELSE: Tigers to supply umps and hopefully lots of beer coz its gonna be hotter than Rockys arse after a night in the slammer with his old mate ‘Bubba’… Al told me mate, tough break. Here you are still friends on facebook though? That’s nice.
BIG MATCH UPS: Ward v Disco, Drake v Ehlers, Blundell v Palmer
WHO TO WATCH: LP: Ward, Fresh, McKeegan
WV: Hattery, Stenger and Blundell… the form player in the competition